It's Finally September!!

I thought this month would never get here, but as the weather cools & the smell of fall is in the air…I know September has finally arrived!! Tomorrow marks the first day of what will hopefully prove to be one of the best months of our lives. And tomorrow we add the stimulating shots to our daily infertility cocktail. As the morning shot of Lupron gets easier and easier it does seem like it's time to take the step up to the next level. One good thing about the stims is we will be using the pens for these shots, so no drawing the medication up from the vial anymore…we just click to the amount we need and inject! Seems pretty easy, but we'll watch the lovely online video tomorrow night beforehand to make sure we know exactly what we are doing!


I've been doing a little reading on the types of things I should be doing to ensure my body is in tip top shape and ready to accept our precious little cargo in a few short weeks! And one thing I've been hearing is that adding lots of protein and fats (yikes!) to your diet can be helpful with the quality of eggs. So things like meat, cheese, eggs, etc. are all supposed to be good things to indulge on…so I figure it can't hurt…bring on the bacon and eggs! Hehe! It also said to cut out caffeine and alcohol. I'm good on the alcohol…I cut that out as soon as the shots started. The caffeine thing is definitely a little trickier for me! I LOVE my soda, but obviously I want a happy, healthy baby, more than a can of diet mt. dew so I've been trying to find substitutes that I like and so far it's going ok. Probably the best find was a new strawberry lemonade at Shop & Save…it is quite tasty!! I read too that you are supposed to eat the core of a pineapple on the day of your egg transfer (ET) and for the 3-5 days following. This one seems weird to me, but here is what I found on the web…"Pineapple may help assist embryo implantation because it contains bromelain. This proteolytic enzyme breaks down proteins that can inhibit embryo implantation." I'm not a huge fan of pineapple, but I could eat a little each of those 5 days…especially if it will help with implantation! One thing to note…it did say not to eat it before ET though because the high acidity of the fruit could actually be bad for your fertility.

I guess all in all, I don't really plan to do anything extreme one way or another…just be a little more cognizant of what I'm putting in my body and hoping that whatever the magic formula is for this IVF to work we get it right and we’ll have awesome pregnancy news in the coming month!! It's so close now I can taste it *smile*

Countdown to ER: ~12 Days

All Systems a "GO"

Today was our baseline ultrasound and bloodwork. They are mainly just checking to ensure you don't have any cysts on your ovaries and to see what your antral follicle (or resting follicle) count is. I got there a little early because I had to have my blood drawn before 9 AM (directly across the hall) and my appointment wasn't until 9:20. To my surprise though they got me in right away and I only had to sit and wait in the exam room a short time before Dr. A. came in. As an aside, I was having a little battle going on in my head as I waited in the exam room...the nurse that ushered me in there told me to undress from the waist down and have a seat on the table, which I promply did, but as I sat there and waited I became rather bored and my eye kept being drawn to the lovely, colorful magazines piled into a rack on the back of the door. I just kept thinking "man, I wish I had grabbed one of those before I undressed...I could hop up and get one now and surely no one would walk in"..."buuuuttt, what if they did walk in...all I have is this little paper table cloth thing to cover up with and it definitely won't do me much good!" Haha...I restrained myself and just waited paitently...it probably would have been a funnier story if I hadn't *smile* Anyway...back to my point...he did the ultrasound and found no cysts...yeah!! And approximately 12 follicles...double yeah! I've been trying to find what a "good" number of resting follicles is and it seems like anything over 10 is decent. So with 12 it's going to depend a lot on how I respond to the stimulating meds. Overall I feel pretty good about the day and will just keep praying my ovaries just LOVE being stimulated and we have lots and lots of good quality eggs to retrieve in a little over two weeks!!

Countdown to ER: ~16 days!

Welcome Baby Sophie!

Jacob and I became an aunt and uncle for the fifth time today when Sophia Leona Krieger "Sophie" came in to the world. Erin was scheduled for a 12 Noon induction, but luckily Sophie decided to come on her own. She was born at 2:05 PM today and weighed in at 7 lbs. 14 oz. We just visited her at the hospital and she is just as precious as could be!! Mom, Dad, big sister Emma, and baby Sophie are all doing great!

Baby Dreaming...

I've been doing lots of "Baby Dreaming"...it's kinda like "Day Dreaming" except about all things baby, maternity, nursery's, etc *smile*. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up too high and I promise I haven't bought ANYTHING, but I have been having fun just glancing at the maternity clothes when I'm out shopping...and browsing online at all the adorable baby bedding (jcpenney has the cutest stuff!)...and yesterday, my mom and my sister and I went down to old St. Charles for the annual Festival of the Little Hills and I was ooh and ahh-ing over all the unbelievably cute baby stuff! There was this one tent that had the cutest little shelves with sayings painted on them like "always kiss me goodnight" or "thank heaven for little boys" and then they would drill holes in it depending on the number of letters of your child’s name and you could buy letters to hang from it. I asked my mom and Erin if it was too presumptuous to buy one that says Noah and one that says Autumn...the names we've had picked out forever now...they both immediately said "NO!" I really was joking, I mean I know there is a real chance this cycle won't work, but they were just so cute...and there was definitely a part of me that was a little jealous that I wasn't able to buy one or two for the little babies we will hopefully be cuddling with someday soon! But I guess for now I'm going to keep dreaming and hoping that our day will come soon...and I will finally be able to buy some maternity clothes, and be able to decorate a nursery, and to experience the miracle of life!! I mean why not...there is nothing wrong with a little baby dreaming...

Countdown till ER: ~19 days

We are on our way!!

Finally...we have arrived! Today marked the start of our IVF cycle as we began the medications! Hooray! I never thought I'd use that word to describe getting from 1-3 shots a day, but hey, if it results in a happy and healthy baby or two in the end it is EXACTLY how I feel. Excited, elated, ready to get this party started! haha!

The shot itself went off without a hitch this morning...well, more or less. I really wanted it to be a nice relaxed atmosphere as Jacob and I prepared and gave the shot together...I planned to put on a nice cd, take our time, read the instructions, put on a tux & nice dress, light some candles...haha...ok, maybe not quite those last two, but you get the idea. Instead though, it turned in to a rushed event that felt like a wham, bam, thank you mam...and left me feeling itchy and a little sore. Overall everything went pretty smooth...we uncapped the lupron, wiped the top with an alcohol wipe, inserted the syringe, drew up the medicine (quite a bit squirted out at this point from pulling it out with out turning the vial of lupron back upright..oops!), wiped my belly with another alcohol wipe and stuck me. It didn't really hurt or anything...the needle, thankfully is very little, but afterwards it was all red and definitely itchy. Luckily that went away within about a half an hour, and now I'm feeling totally normal and ready for the next one! And to celebrate, Jacob and I have decided to treat ourselves to some ice cream tonight...yum!

After today I don’t, by any stretch of the imagination, think this is going to be fun or easy, but atleast I have comfort that it is possible…and that Jacob and I are in it together! So now we are finally on our way!! And with the first hurdle down I’ve changed our countdown to the next one…the egg retrieval (ER)!

ER Countdown: ~23 Days!!!

"If God Leads you to it, he'll lead you through it"

It's hard to believe that we've come this far...that this Thursday we "officially" start the beginning of our IVF cycle. It's unbelievable really to think back on how long this journey has been and the twists and turns we've made along the way. It's crazy for me to even think that we've arrived at this place. I think I've always assumed...even after we started going to the RE...that it wouldn't ever actually come to IVF for us. For whatever reason, from the beginning of our treatments I was sure that the third IUI cycle was going to be as far as we would ever have to go. And when we did become pregnant that cycle I was amazed that my gut feeling was coming true! But with the loss that came shortly thereafter I think I was all the more in shock that my hope of getting by only partially scathed was no longer going to be an option. Now we're here and my emotions are all over the place...one second I'm excited and hopeful and the next I'm on edge and discouraged...and I haven't even started the meds yet! Haha...poor Jacob is really going to have his hands full! I know that we're here for a reason...that God knows what he's doing...that there is some greater plan...whether it's to strengthen the relationship between Jacob and I (probably not until after my emotional rollercoaster ends...haha), or to give us a greater appreciation and love for the children we will have, or because our children were destined to come as a pair *smile*, or to draw us ever closer to him as we stumble along the path of infertility. Who knows...I'm confident someday it will become clear, but for now I'm just going to have faith.

And as our countdown has dwindled to 4 short days till the shots begin, my head reels with possibilities. I know, without a doubt, this next month is going to be a challenging one. I just hope and pray that we will endure and that it will result in fulfilling the strong desire of our hearts to have a child. Being the control freak that I am (hey we all have our vices right *grin*) I'm going to attempt to do something my Mom once told me..."To let go, to let God." So as we await all the unknowns just around our corner I found this prayer on Beliefnet that I think is very appropriate…

"Thank you Lord, for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen."

And I guess with that...more to come Thursday!!

Just in the nick of time!

Sorry if this is TMI, but “Aunt flo” finally arrived last night in all her glory…and not a second too soon! I’ve been stressing all week about it because if I’m not on birth control by August 13th our cycle would have to be postponed. I was supposed to start last Sunday, but nothing! And as the week dragged on, day after day I was getting more and more anxious about her timely disappearing act. Even yesterday at acupuncture, Christine needled what she called “every blood point” on the body assuring me that my period would come, but as the day went on I wasn’t so sure. Mary (our temporary coordinator in Dr. Ahlering’s office) had just called in a prescription for me for Provera, but apparently that was all it took because right after picking it up last night (and before even getting a chance to take it) she appeared! I NEVER thought I’d be so excited to start my period…haha!! I’m just thankful that I don’t have to start off the IVF cycle by putting yet another hormone in my body…and that it was able to arrive on its own!

So I guess that makes it finally official…start birth control (check), make final payment to SIRM (check), order medications (check), fill out all the legal forms (check…well almost) *grin* And that brings me to my next story for the week…in order to go through with IVF at SIRM you have to complete a stack of papers detailing that you understand the process, that you won’t sue them, and what you would like them to do with your embryos if you were to die….WAIT…WHAT?? That’s right, we had to sign papers stating what we would like to do with our teeny tiny little babies if there was an unfortunate chain of events and one or both of us were to end up in heaven before we had the chance to grow them in my belly! This is a pretty morbid discussion…and not really one you want to have as you’re preparing to be creating life…the last thing on your mind is really the thought of one ending! But, it is one they force upon you and I understand why, but here comes the issue…on the line where it asks the unsettling question of what to do with the embryos should both of us perish there is only one option…to destroy them. So obviously we will not agree to that…after all we believe as soon as it’s an embryo it’s a baby! Jacob kindly informed the nurse yesterday “it’s like it’s a five year old child…you would never ask us to destroy our five year old if something were to happen to us, so how can you expect us to agree to this.” She tried to empathize with us and said she understood the predicament, but if we weren’t going to sign it we would have to have a will drawn up stating what we would like done with them. So we’ve been searching online to see if we can create it that way instead of actually hiring an expensive lawyer. I found a site called Write Your Own Will that seems like it will work, but Jacob is going to check it out to make sure it’s legit. I also have a few lawyers in the family, so I may see if they can help verify that it will work…since various states have different laws. So we’ll see what happens, but we need to get a move on because my baseline appointment where we’re supposed to present it, is August 27th and that will be here before we know it!

Shot countdown: 12 Days!