It’s not just a phone call…it’s our future!

So picture this, yesterday I worked an early day at work (7-3:30) so I could get home in plenty of time to have my phone call with Dr. Ahlering at 5:30. I arrived home around 4:30 (after a quick detour to target to buy Confessions of a Shopaholic…in case I needed any cheering up after the call) and started doing things around the house because my nervous energy just couldn’t be quenched. Until finally, it was time! According to my clock it was 5:30. So I am sitting in the kitchen…pad and pen in one hand…cell phone in the other. Staring at the phone waiting and willing it to ring…and then it does…for a fleeting second…literally! Jason Mraz, on my ringtone, doesn’t even have time to get out a full word! So as you can probably imagine I’m a little panicky at this point…”oh no, what if it rang and rang on his end, but not on mine” and “what if he doesn’t call back”….I am trembling as all the scenarios flash through my head and I’m thinking this is not happening! I need this phone call…I’ve been waiting for it for almost a month now and I can’t wait any longer. This phone call was going to allow us to finally make the decision of where we go next. I have to talk to Dr. Ahlering now! So I wait a few more minutes and decide I’m going to call the office in hopes of actually reaching someone that can put me through to Dr. Ahlering. But of course no one answers…their office closes at 4 PM and it is now 5:38. So I hang up…and my phone instantly beeps at me like I did something wrong…and my heart sinks…”he called…while I was trying to call him…he called and left a message” and I just know., at this point, my worst fear has come true…I am not going to talk to Dr. Ahlering tonight…and who knows how long I’ll have to wait this time before I can. So I quickly check my voice mail to hear Dr. Ahlering explaining that he “thought we were supposed to chat today, but I guess we’ll just have to reschedule.” I call back immediately (from the number he called from…which I don’t think goes anywhere except directly to his voicemail) and leave a message…pleading him to please call me back…”I’m here! I’m waiting”…I almost shout into the phone. Then I send him an e-mail…begging him once again…letting him know what happened and that I really need to talk to him. But he never calls back. And I cry…not because of just missing a phone call, but because I have been waiting for THIS phone call for awhile…anxious about what we were going to find out, praying that it was going to give us some answers, wishing that we could finally close one chapter in this painful journey and hopefully move on to the next…the part where it finally happens! Where we begin our future…our family! So Dr. Ahlering if you’re out there…please call…I’m still waiting.